SORRY for going on about PM Godmanis again, but as I write I am watching Kas Notiek Latvija where the big bruiser is putting in a virtuoso performance.

Not that he is saying anything particularly interesting – but the way he says it!

The symptoms of his Christmas malaise have completely disappeared, I am happy to report. Gone is the softly-spoken, cuddly old uncle who promised to distribute alms with a beaming smile like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning.

Now that it’s clear that his eaglerly anticipated 100 day plan is basically just the leftovers of the Kalvitis government given a 2 minute microwave reheat, Godmanis has reverted back to freewheelin’, demonstrative form, displaying a concentrated range of facial and bodily tics that it would take a top psychotherapist to decipher properly.

As the programme has gone on I have taken the opportunity to compile an inventory of some of these gestures. The show is barely halfway through and we’ve already witnesed:

The forward lean – Godmanis’ opening gambit, always. Classic Alpha Male attempt to dominate the room. Or he has a dodgy back.
The backward lean – a bad sign. Looks like a bald, bearded cobra about to strike.
The forgotten fiver – frantic fidgeting and checking his pockets. Like he’s misplaced the five lat note that would balance the budget. A bit like one of the characters in Autobiography Of A Supertramp.
Itchy eye – funny how often he gets grit in there. Literal meaning: “Get out of my sight!”
Head in hand(s) – the classic Godmanis pose. Sometimes it’s just the one hand, but occasionally he’ll do the full two-hander to please the crowd and even throw in a despairing shake of the noggin. Superb!
The Big ‘O’ – sometimes he’ll just sit there forming a narrow ‘O’ with his mouth for no discernible reason. A silent whistle in the dark? A sharp intake of breath? Enigmatic. And slightly camp.
Hand wash – apparently popularised by another famous prime minister, named Pontius Pilate.
Beard brush – Godmanis can deploy his fantastic facial fuzz to devastating rhetorical effect. Includes both vertical and horizontal passes of the hand.
The thinker – his ability to copy the Rodin statue is uncanny. Used as a standby to look like he’s concentrating when he’s really a bit bored.
Hear no evil – the hand starts on the back of the neck, then crawls over the lughole if he doesn’t like the sound of what he’s being told.
Sleight of hand – whenever he finds himself in a corner, Godmanis gets out of it by making up a list, accompanied by counting up his points on one hand and knocking them off with the other. Can turn into a type of conjuring trick.
Four finger shuffle – variation of the above in which, for some reason, Goddo keeps hold of his little finger and repeatedly squeezes it in a pulsing action. Freud would love it, no doubt.

This list should not be regarded as exhaustive. The Big G also has an impressive repertoire of finger jabs, flourishes and rococo digit dodges that he uses to punctuate even the most banal proclamation. Keep an eye out for them and let me know if you spot more.

Who knows, maybe we can one day compile a counterpart to the human genome project, detecting and decoding the mysteries of Godmanis’ body language?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 11:35 pm and is filed under Latvia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.