WE SHALL NOT see his like again.

The Latvian nation was plunged into deep mourning on January 21 with news that its greatest-ever leader has departed this mortal life for Valhalla.

Only a day after Cuban President Fidel Castro announced that he was finally stepping down nearly a year after his death, Russian-language newspaper Telegraf was first to break the news that another iconic political leader has left the world stage.

President Leonardo the rabbit is dead.

Our deepest sympathies go out to Leonardo’s family and friends, which include his long-time personal assistant, Valdis Zatlers.

Zatlers’ future now looks uncertain, though it is rumoured that he may be allowed to continue living in Riga castle. However, without the familiar daily routine of official receptions, speeches and carrot munching he enjoyed with President Leonardo, the halls of the ancient edifice must surely seem cold and empty to Zatlers.

Monarchs, presidents and small mammals including hamsters, chinchillas and ferrets are due to fly into Riga to attend the state funeral next week. Leonardo will be buried, according to his wishes, in a shoebox, in a quiet corner of the Riga Castle grounds not far from the dustbins. He will be given full military honours, including a flypast by an elite formation of NATO budgerigars.

Until the ceremony, Leonardo’s embalmed body will lie in state at the Alexander Nevsky cathedral in central Riga where hundreds of mourners are already queuing to pay their respects and leave lettuce leaves.

At the Baltic Bulletin we are proud to back the campaign to have ‘Leonardo Day’ added to the official state calendar as a day to fly the Latvian flag with a black ribbon attached.

But the prime concern is now the future of the state. Leonardo’s untimely demise leaves a huge power vacuum to be filled and none of the present administration has the intellectual insight, moral fortitude and long, floppy ears necessary for supreme power.

The fear now is that without his firm, furry paw on the tiller of the ship of state, Latvia could descend into the same sort of anarchy and civil war that engulfed Yugoslavia after the death of Dodo the dachsund in 1980.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 21st, 2008 at 11:20 am and is filed under Miscellaneous, Latvia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.